How to Develop Emotional Intelligence

How to develop Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is a person’s ability to understand:-

          Their own emotions, 

          The emotions of others, and

          To act appropriately using these emotions.

Emotional Intelligence never stops growing; because we are always evolving as people.

Emotional Intelligence is when you finally realize “It’s not about you only”

It’s not about:-                                                                                          

           Hard skills

          Soft skills

          It’s not what you’ve got, “IT’S ABOUT HOW YOU USE IT”


We can develop our emotional intelligence level by developing and practicing the following skills.






Your understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, your motivation factors, and how & why you respond to situations in a particular way. Self-awareness lies at the heart of the EI model and, to a great extent, influences our ability to develop the other competencies. It enables us to sustain our behavior over time, despite setbacks.

In short – Self-awareness is understanding own moods &  emotions.

If you understand your own feelings you get a really great handle on how you’re going to interact and perform with others…

So one of the first starting points is, ‘what’s going on inside of me?’”

How to develop Self Awareness Competence:-

   Emotional self-awareness: Reading one’s own emotions and recognizing their impact; using “gut-sense” to guide decisions.

   Accurate self assessment: Knowing one’s strengths and limits.

    Self confidence:  Having a sound sense of one’s self-worth and capabilities.

How to Practice Self Awareness

Awareness of our own emotional states are the foundation of all the E.I. skills.

  • Learn to “tune in” to your emotions – they can give you valid information about your responses to stressful situations.
  • Recognize the importance of emotions even in  “technical” fields.


This is about how effectively we manage our own emotions, and how well we control our responses to new or challenging situations. Emotional self-control is the ability to keep impulsive feelings and emotions under control.

In Short,  “Think before Act”

How to develop Self Management Competence

Emotional Self Control: Keeping disruptive emotions and impulses under control.

Transparency: – Displaying honesty, integrity, and trustworthiness.

Adaptability: – Demonstrating flexibility in adapting to changing situations or overcoming obstacles.

Achievement:-Having the drive to improve performance to meet inner standards of excellence.

Initiative: Being ready to act and to seize opportunities.

Optimism:-  Seeing the “upside” in events.

How to Practice Self Management

          Accept responsibility for choosing your own emotional responses.

          Learn to “reframe” stressful situations into ones that are challenging.

          Be aware of, and learn to manage, your own emotional “triggers.”


Under this context, EI is the ability to hear and understand others’ thoughts, feelings and concerns, even when partly expressed or unspoken. It’s being aware of others’ needs.
It covers how we manage the emotions of others.

How to develop Social awareness Competence

These Capabilities determine how we manage relationships

Empathy: Sensing others’ emotions, understanding their perspectives, and taking an active interest in their concerns.

Organizational awareness: Reading the currents, decision networks, and politics at the organizational levels.

Service: Recognizing and meeting followers, clients, or customer needs.

How to Practice Social Awareness

          Understand what it means to listen.

          Repeat what was said.

          Pay attention to the tone of voice.

          Watch facial expressions and body language.

          Keep a finger on the pulse of the office.

          Notice the details.


It is our ability to apply emotional understanding in our dealings with others. This is where emotional intelligence becomes most visible to the people we deal with (putting EI to work).
It includes the ability to develop relationships, build rapport  (trust).

It’s the culmination of the other 3 dimensions of EI.

How to develop Relationship Management Competence

Inspirational leadership: Guiding and motivating with a  compelling vision.

Influence: Using a range of tactics for persuasion.

Developing others: Bolstering others’ abilities through feedback and guidance.

Charge catalyst: Initiating, managing, and leading in a  new direction.

Conflict management: Resolving disagreements.

Building bonds: Cultivating and maintaining a web of relationships.

Teamwork and collaboration: Fostering cooperation and team building.

How to Create Effective Relationships

Employ all your emotional competencies – Self-awareness, Self-management, social awareness to-     

To influence and persuade others.
Build consensus and support for team goals.
Motivate and inspire yourself and others to achieve those goals.

So, you need to work on these four pillars of Emotional Intelligence, in order to develop this skill in yourself.


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